Halloween Resurrection

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Halloween Resurrection
Cast: Bianca Kajlich, Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, Jamie Lee Curtis, Katie Sackhoff
Director: Rick Rosenthal
Nutshell: Myers is back and this time he goes home to gate crash a live webcast

 

Often the most irritating thing about inferior (contrived) sequels is that they tend to tarnish the memory of the far superior originals that they follow. Halloween Resurrection, the 8th in the Halloween series (the 7th sequel) arrives a few years on from the surprisingly excellent Halloween: H20, which, after years or dreadful sequels, finally managed to do some justice to the series. With H20’s success though came the inevitable announcement of yet another follow up – but how we all wondered, considering Michael Myers was beheaded by his sister in the finale of the previous instalment. But then, logic never had too much of a part to play in the way these movies turn out and it came as not much of a surprise that Halloween Resurrection was announced by Moustafa Akkad with an ingenious plot twist that would pave the way for tens of further sequels.

It transpires in the opening few moments of Resurrection that poor Jamie Lee really was in dreadful shape in H20 and things got the better of her as she ended up beheading some amazingly retarded policeman who somehow decided that wearing the Myers mask on duty would be an effective way of law enforcement on Halloween night! Instead the poor idiot gets his head lopped off, that too after making poignant deranged-brotherly gestures towards Jamie Lee for some unknown reason. Ok, so it transpires that Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) hacked off some poor buggers head instead of that wretched brother of hers and now she finds herself banged up in an institution not unlike the one Michael was confined in for all those years.

Naturally, the real Myers, still alive and well, arrives at the nut house Jamie Lee is stashed away in and they have yet another confrontation with Jamie Lee set to blow away the maniac (again) but yet again she hesitates and Michael doesn’t need a second invitation. “I’ll see you in hell” she says to Myers before kissing him goodnight and plunging to her death, or shall we assume that the person falling was not in fact Laurie Strode but some mistaken look-alike? More than likely the way these movies go. The action switches to a Haddonfield College where a bunch of typically mentally challenged students are all excited about being selected for a stunt which involves them spending one night at the infamous Myers house while the whole world will be able to watch them live on the internet. The group is your typical mixture of slasher movie fodder – bimbo’s and morons of the most irritating variety, all deserving to be hacked, sliced and diced to death in the most gruesome manners. There is of course one savvy, slight misfit of a girl in the group who is the only one who is sceptical about the expedition at the Myers house and will undoubtedly be the one to stand up to Myers come crunch time.

As is the norm for slasher films these days, they have to pander to the lowest common denominator which means loads of irksome, crass, infantile, foul mouthed banter from one of the obligatory dudes (Busta Rhymes) who plays up to his rather intellectually emaciated audience with a stream of blatantly unfunny one liners throughout the movie – “Trick or Treat Muther F**cker” being our favourite! In fact none of the characters in the movie including a very haggard looking Jamie Lee Curtis is even remotely likeable and one inevitably ends up rooting for Michael to slash and hack the stream of irritating morons as soon as can be and as painfully as can be. He obliges with some typically brutal bludgeoning, but after seven movies of the same, we really have seen it all before. Anyway, the scenario is that Michael goes home (where he apparently cooks his rats using fresh spices) and gatecrashes the internet broadcast and starts to hack ‘em up in front of a live web audience who reckon they are really watching a special effects feast until one of the lesser idiots realises that “its actually happening”. Do we really care?

Anyway, events wind their way down to the usual open-ended conclusion and Michael is supposedly destroyed in a raging fire….but he survived a blaze in Halloween 2 and walked out wearing a space suit to continue the mayhem, why would he succumb to flames this time around? Perhaps the greatest disappointment was that with Rick Rosenthal directing this instalment (he also directed the absolutely not bad Halloween 2) one had actually harboured some misguided hopes that this instalment would be a little bit better than the mockery that it turned out to be. It comes as little surprise that Rick Rosenthal’s career has been stalled for ages and doesn’t look like his luck is about to change judging from this piece of turgid drivel. Oh, there is further light shed on Myers “back story” (a new phrase (meaning background) invented by Hollywood intellectuals) when we discover a hidden dungeon containing a torture chamber suggesting that Myers parents weren’t the wholesome couple we were shown in the first Halloween film. This after other sequels have informed us that Myers is in fact a druid slave follower of some Satanist legion of Samhain. Utter hogwash – exactly the point we were trying to emphasise about how inferior sequels have the insidious ability to detract from the films they have been inspired by.

It’s all about making a buck at the end of the day and now after Moustapha has made a fortune of the Halloween franchise, his son (?) Malek Akkad is set to follow. Sorry to say that this time the Friday the 13th corner wins the bout as Jason X whips the crap out of Halloween Resurrection. Still, the only Halloween’s worth watching are Halloween, Halloween 2 and Halloween: H20 – All the others are basically crap, give or take a scene here or there. Question is which one is the worst of the lot? We reckon the biggest stinkers are Halloween 6: Curse of Michael Myers, Halloween Resurrection and Halloween 3: Season of the Witch which had nothing to do with anything.