Talaash (2003)

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Talaash (2003)
Cast: Rakhee, Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Pooja Batra.
Director: Suneil Darshan
Music Director: Sanjeev Darshan
Nutshell: dire, drivel of the worst kind – convoluted and contrived nonsense

 

Released from jail, Babu (Suresh Oberoi) sees his family wallowing in poverty and no future. Having kept silent about his “Bosses” who in turn promised to tend to his family, he decides to inform the police about their activities. Well, as luck would have it, the four thugs catch him in the act and arrive at his doorstep, thrashing the man to pulp. The four thugs, Chhote Pathan (Kabir Bedi), Rajoo Singh (Raj Babbar), Sharma (Dalip Tahil) and Shetty (Rami Reddy) intend to slaughter him in front of his family but have a change of heart and decide to behead the man, and snatch his daughter away. Chhote Pathan’s plan is to rear this girl and sell her off in 10 years time. Elder brother Arjun misses all of this and returns to find mother clutching a doll and throwing things at him…yep, as was expected, she has lost her marbles.

Next we see a grown up Arjun(Akshay Kumar), dressed in Black leather on his motorbike, out to catch some smugglers….yes, its batman in leather..well, not quite because there’s no mask here but we never actually find out what Arjun does…me thinks that his income is from the police rewards for all the criminals that he catches.

Arjun is on the hunt..the talaash to find his sister and who better than through the daughter of Sharma, one of the thugs, who would know where his sister is. Tina(Kareena), a vapid and obnoxious dame who has just returned to India for the first time. Tagging along with her with the intent to kidnap her, the pathetic Tina falls in love with him almost instantaneously as our desi batman flexes his muscles. But Arjun decides to give her the ditch when he finds out that she is not the daughter of Sharma. It later turns out that she is Rajoo Singh’s daughter.

Arjun follows them to South Africa and has the tarty Pooja Batra fall in love with him immediately as he bashes up some goon in a night-club. Must be something to do with those magic muscles. So using Ms Batra, he tries to get more information on the whereabouts of his sister, and playing off one thug against another. Ho hum , yawn yawn yawn, he now comes across Tina again who is of course smarting from her rejection. Nothing makes sense at all for if Arjun really wanted to get to his sister, he should have done it through Tina somehow.

Matters get more and more convoluted with Chote Pathan making a final entry towards the end..will Arjun succeed in freeing his sister? will chote pathan manage to win in his nefarious plan? Will Tina be sold as well…?? Yes, its all too much like a batman episode of the 60s but with none of the charm humour or style of the television series. Instead what you get is a crude, violent, incoherent and utterly vapid film which offers nothing at all and delivers even less.

Suneil Darshan is no great shakes as a director but has managed to make the odd successful film. Ek Rishtaa before this was much better even though it was fairly bad but could be considered a classic compared to this drivel. The only saving grace Talaash has is the presence of Akshay Kumar…who has a magnetic appeal and goes about his job sincerely. Kareena on the other hand is a complete washout and a complete bore. If she is so keep on quality work, what in the world is she doing in this crap. Pooja Batra was never a talent and in this, she is exceptionally bad…oh dear me, so very bad its embarrassing. Rakhee does one of her usual turns of mother in mental asylum. Kabir Bedi is simply laughable as the main villain..something out of a genie’s bottle and perhaps more menacing in a children’s sinbad movie.

The action scenes are Ok but few and far apart. The music is awful and the choreography even worse. Talaash is a pointless exercise in film making and a complete and utter waste of time.