Saturday Night (2005)


Saturday Night (2005)
Cast: Moammar Rana, Megha, Aqsa, Haya, Diya, Abida Baig
Director: Rashid Dogar
Music Director: Ali Afzal
Synopsis: A serial Killer is slicing up the “dirty” girls of Lahore on Saturday Nights!


Having been shocked into speechlessness having recently witnessed a giant masterwork of crap by the name of Black Devil Doll from Hell it was thought that an antidote should be sought in the form of a dark serial killer thriller from Lollywood called Saturday Night (or in Urdu, Sachaday Nite).

The film is set in the heart of Lahore’s not so thriving film and “entertainment” industry around the motley alleys of Royal Park. In the opening act set in the seedy theatre world a producer is worried about it being Sachaday Nite and that he doesn’t have enough juice to entertain his punters who are lusting and drooling for their weekly dose of sleaze. So, he encourages one of the peroxide blondes to “lift her shirt” a few times during her dance number to keep the sleaze hounds at bay! She acts coy but obliges with a truly sleazy dance number (a replica of the kind of thing that is performed on the live stage theatre shows these days in predominantly Punjab which thrive on double entendre and sheer sleaze).

After her saucy number, she hops into a rickshaw and ends up in some dark street where she receives a phone call and is soon picked up by a man driving a splashy black car with a Fast and Furious style red streak on both sides. A deal is struck and off she heads with the mysterious punter who is clearly a man of wealth judging by the house they drive up to. A shady chowkidar lets them in and chillingly starts preparing a shallow grave for his master’s prey.

Each Sachaday Nite the same grisly scene is repeated and the bodies pileup high with the police force stumped. Meanwhile Chaudhary Ghulam Rasool a god-fearing man with a striking hair style returns from Ammarica, a mythic land adjacent to the United States, thanking his lucky stars as he reckons all Pakistani’s are under mortal threat there (statistics would tell him many more are dying each day in his homeland than anywhere else on earth).

Anyway, Rasool returns to a home to be greeted by a wife who is interested only in money and her newly acquired status as the Women’s Welfare Association’s President! While his son runs a failing Car Showroom and his daughter flits around town trying to pick men up off the street using a broken-down car as her bait.

Poor Rasool finds himself more and more marginalized in his own house and he turns into a simpering, meek and pathetic gimp while his wife and kids run amok, but rest assured, it being a Lollywood film, the day will come when the nasty creeps get their just rewards and so it proves.

Rasool masterminds a scheme by which he has his wife sign over her money to his account and then tricks his family into selling the house and all their belongings to shift back to the US (as now Rasool appears to be less fearful of living there for reasons best known to him). So, in lust of going to the “promised land” the greedy, wicked wife hands him over the keys to the house and off they head for the airport only for the witch and her evil daughter’s dream to go horribly pear shaped while Rasool flicks strands of greased hair triumphantly right and left!

Meanwhile the nasty, evil, ungrateful son who has been in the clutches of a local tart is enraged when he discovers that she has been carrying on her trade while professing undying love for him and he guns down the entire kotha in a mad rage!

The police finally manage to catch up with the Sachaday Nite serial killer and his accomplice who turns out to be his father cum chowkidar. Years ago, Dad took a second wife who turned out to be an evil promiscuous woman which led to his hatred of all women who were “bad” and “dirty” like her.

The police instead of apprehending the serial killer decide that his quest was a noble one and due to the fear and terror he has created many stage dancers had stopped going to work and thus “dirty women” were being contained from spreading their vice.

The movie itself has no merit which is probably why it is perversely compelling. The entire style of the movie is a giant step towards the theatre type scenario and each of the dances are presented in the way that the stage dances are choreographed – very vulgar, crude and pretty grim. The songs had to be listened to more than once to try to determine whether the female songs had in fact been sung by a woman and not by a male impersonator, such was the “quality” of singing. Ali Afzal’s compositions plunges Lollywood music to its lowest depths.

Why an actor of the relative stature of Moammar Rana signed this film only he will be able to explain – it was the utter dregs and quite possibly other than the odd Pushto monstrosity, quite the worst Urdu film yet encountered in decades of watching.

What made it even worse were the stinking double standards that this film bears in that first up it sells itself on the fact the film is chockfull of sleazy, cheap dance numbers and yet the moral of the film is that these very women are dirty and sleazy – enough to justify their eradication! The film advocates the murder of “dirty” women and encourages citizens to help in purging society of such evil women and while making this point it conveniently relies on that very sleaze it condemns in order to attempt pulling in the punters at the Box Office.

The film pretends to cloak itself in a sermon denouncing vice and vulgarity and yet it consists of nothing but that – cheap vulgarity and crude innuendo laden dialogs. It is a testament to the double standards that surround us where a man can grow facial hair and suddenly be transformed form villain into saint in the time that it takes to grow or hire a beard!

Whatever the tactic, it didn’t work, the film bombed miserably at the Box Office.